Fine, I'm being dramatic. But turning 29 hasn't been full of joy. If anything, I feel like I'm already mourning my 20's and the lost opportunities. (Yes, more dramatics.) And sadly, I don't even know why.
Could be because when you're young, 29 sounds SO OLD. So far away. People who are 29 go to bed early and never eat ice cream or cereal for dinner, because they've got their middle-management job and 2.5 kids to think about. In reality, I still stay up too late every single night. Even though I'm trying to be healthier and shed a few pounds, it's not uncommon for me to have something ridiculous like ice cream (Sugar free! Low fat!) for dinner. And I'm still at the bottom of the totem pole at work, in a manner of speaking. I worked my ass off to get here, and it's a dream come true, but I still have so much farther to go. And the kids! Ha! I've got 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a Beta fish. Oh, and a boyfriend. Can't forget about him. ;)
Worse even still? I don't *really* want kids yet. Yes, I've got the baby fever. But when I start to think about what having kids means and what you have to give up (hi, everything?), I know I'm just not ready to be that unselfish. And aren't 29-year-olds supposed to be unselfish? And aren't they supposed to have a mortgage?
I'm still longingly eying pictures of New York City, wondering when and how I'll manage to move there, what kind of job I can find, how I can support myself. I feel like I've got so many goals and aspirations, and I had planned to take care of so many of those things while I was in my 20's. Granted, I did scratch quite a bit off my list. Degree? Check. Live in the city? Check. Buy own car? Check. See, it wasn't a total loss.
It just went by so fast. Some of the times I had were shittastic, so that might have been for the best, though. Here's hoping 29 turns out to be the superior year of my decade.
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