My poor boyfriend, the Star Wars obsessed one, nearly jumped out of my car the other night because of Twilight.
After a long day of work (for him) and napping (for me), I dragged him to one of the inner layers of hell, otherwise known as suburbia. I had a work engagement at a bar late that night, and my usual security blanket (the promotions crew) wasn't going to be there to hold my hand. So I begged and made promises of free beer, and he agreed.
On a side note, living in a city that has banned most indoor smoking, I had forgotten what it was like to leave a bar smelling like a stale pack of Camels and having that lovely, thick cigarette muck coating my airway for a good 24 hours. Thankfully I've now been reminded why I've never taken up smoking. Score 1 for the suburbs.
We made the uneventful drive past numerous malls, restaurants, and a good dozen or so sexually oriented businesses (not much to do in the suburbs, eh?) and braced ourselves for two hours of anxiety (for me) and beers (for him).
It turned out that my presence there was completely unnecessary. I was meant to be filling in for a co-worker, and the weekly event turned out to be a well-tuned machine. So he and I primarily hung out in the bar area, sipping our drinks, chatting with a few people we knew, and occasionally handing out t-shirts and koozies.
So, two hours, and we're out. Two hours, four beers and two cocktails, and we're headed home. That's when I decided I was hungry, and we both knew that we should have slowed down long enough to use the restrooms back in the suburbs. The misery!
We ended up in the longest and slowest drive-thru line imaginable, delaying any chance to use the restroom. At this point, no taquitos really could have been worth it, no matter how cheesy. But since we were in the line, we stayed. And stayed, and stayed.
I was getting irritable, as needing to use the restroom while not having access to a restroom can tend to make a person. I had flipped through most of the slow music on my iPod (because that will ease the pain of a full bladder?) and played a bit of solitaire. Then I had an epiphany... I could get lost in a world where vampires sparkle!
Meaning, I have Twilight on my iPod and watching a bit of it might take my mind off my mounting irritability and my bladder. The second I turned it on, sound coming through the car speakers, he looked at me as if I had just told him there was no Luke Skywalker. Seriously, deer in headlights doesn't even cover it.
He reached for the door handle, as if he was really going to bail. The man was sitting with his knees held together so tightly I thought they were going to bruise, refusing to walk into the fast food joint to use the restroom out of sheer laziness, yet the very sound of Edward Cullen's voice had him ready to say "Screw it!" and walk the two miles home.
I have no idea how he's going to survive a midnight screening of Eclipse. No idea...
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